10 October 2010

An Explanation Why

The reason I haven't updated my blog is this:

This blog was created for me to share personal feelings in an anonymous way.  When I started going to therapy, this blog was a way for me to write about my thoughts and feelings in a secure way.

Unfortunately there are some evil and bitter people out there.  This URL was sent to the Honor Code office at BYU-Idaho along with my name and I was suspended.  I could go into detail but they said this exact quote, "we were going to originally expel you permanently but that would prevent you from transferring to another school.  So were suspending you on paper for a year but we wouldn't let you back if you reapply."

I was suspended for exactly this reason:  My ex didn't tell on me, someone else did. So firstly I was suspended for "Honesty".  Second for "Sexual misconduct" which the school has defined as holding hands, hugging, and going on "dates" with someone I was romantically interested in.  They said it was totally inappropriate that I be in public or private with someone I was romantically interested in.  I told them my bishop knew and I was going to regular counseling sessions and they didn't care.  Both my bishop and counselor expressed their love and concern for me and their complete frustration with the "Lord's University and His henchmen - the Honor Code Office" (my interpretation not theirs).

There is the "Lord's University".  They understand so very little, and reject all things outside of their naive view.

Since I've been suspended things have gotten a little stressful, and I haven't been a good Mormon at all.  I know that the Church is true I just don't think I'm ever going to get anywhere with it.  It makes me sad, but at least for right now I need to back away from Church activity until ... well.... until I feel like I want to put myself in a position again where the Church has so much control over my success, and my mental and emotional well-being.  I really just hate the University and I need time to get passed their brainwashing.... :)  I love the Church and my Priesthood leaders but dealing with the University makes me want to punch someone in the face. :(

I will keep up this blog because to me it's like a giant middle finger to BYU-Idaho to continue writing something that so vigorously protest.

(p.s. I like Bush.)


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